Don’t Be a Pussy(cat)


Growing up is not easy. “It’ll be fun”, they said. “Enjoy it while you can”, they said. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done ever and I don’t feel like I’m getting any better at it. I’m not even sure what to tell you. These past few weeks, especially have been so “blah” and uneventful. It has, however, left me with a lot of time for reflection. And I mean a lot. Oh, and going to the gym. Keep these two things in mind because those are the two topics that inspired me to share with you a question that I have for myself and you. It’s not original, you’ve heard it before and you’ll probably continue to hear it throughout your life (unless you’re fearless).

What if you weren’t afraid to fail?

What a life that would be, huh? Probably thrilling, dangerous but exciting and fun, equipped with great stories, experiences and a handful of good friends along the way.

This question came up in conversation with my good-good where we discussed how some people are so fearless and do things that we can only imagine doing. For instance, leaving everything you know behind to live in another country for a set amount of year to forever. I mean, it doesn’t even have to be that difficult or “far fetched”. As matter of fact, this happens so often it is neither difficult or far fetched, but to me it is. I could only imagine doing it. It came down to being afraid to do things as simple as traveling for leisure. I’m such a punk! There are so many places I’d love to travel to but am too afraid to for one reason or another; ranging from silly to actual reasoning. “I don’t speak the language so I’m afraid I’d be kidnapped and/or killed.” Seriously, Christine? While the probability is not zero, it’s also not big enough to be an actual fear but yet I’m still scared and I still won’t do it.

Lets scale it down is a goal I’ve set for myself at the gym. In the next few blog posts I hope to share with you that I’ve cleared my box jump goal of about 36 inches. After practicing and building my confidence I succeeded, kinda. I didn’t stick the landing so it didn’t count but I cleared the box so I knew I could do it. After not sticking the landing,  I psyched myself out with an irrational fear that next time I would miss the box completely, fall backwards, and break my back. I tried twice after that and both times I missed the box, did not fall backward or break my back (I did bruise my shins, though). But seriously, where do these scenarios even come from?

There are a slew of things that I am afraid to do for one irrational reason or another and I don’t know how to get myself out of that. How does one become fearless? And does it have anything to do with confidence? I’m legit searching for answers and don’t suggest “just do it” because that’s easier said than done. I know one thing is for sure, it’s very true what they say about things being all “in your head” because that’s been the #1 reason for a lot of things but how do I stop my brain from thinking these things?

What is a fear, big or small, that you’ve conquered lately and how did you get yourself to do it? I’m interested in learning how to conquer fear in every aspect in my life because I’m sure that once I do, I will blossom. But for now, I’m stuck and afraid. Help!

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